Father - A daughter's first love

What prompted me to write this post is the marriage of one of my best friends. She was the only child in her family and the apple of her father’s eye. As she got married she had to leave her parents and shift to her husband’s house.

Since I know this family for a very long time, I know the bond she had with her parents. I guess it was very hard for her as well as to her parents to bear up the pain of separation.

Everyone is aware about the mother - daughter relationship.  Then what about the father - daughter relationship?  They say that fathers have a strong bond with daughters than with sons. I think it is true.  May be that is because daughters care more about their parents. (No offense boys ;) ) Here is an email I received and I guess it proves the above fact.

A couple made a deal the night of their Marriage to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason!

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door, the husband &the wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before, they didn't open the door.

After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them, the couple were looking at each other, then the bride dropped a tear & started crying she said: "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years & years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Almighty blessed him with her, & he threw a Huge Party for her in Grand style, people were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply: "She is the one who will open the door for me"

I came across this wonderful song which has now become a song that I listen at least once in two three days. It was written by Walt Aldridge and Elliott Park and sung by a music group called Heartland. When I listen to this song over and over again, it makes me so emotional. It is a wonderful song that clearly shows the sentiments of a father when his daughter gets married.

I suggest that you listen to it now :)

Here are its lyrics

Look at the two of you dancing that way

Lost in the moment and each other's face

So much in love, you're alone in this place

Like there's nobody else in the world

I was enough for her not long ago

I was her number one, she told me so

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl

Time changes everything, life must go on

And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first, I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

How could that beautiful woman with you

Be the same freckle face kid that I knew

The one that I read all those fairytales to

And tucked into bed all those nights

And I knew the first time I saw you with her

It was only a matter of time

I loved her first, I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

Someday you might know what I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

A daughter grows up looking at her father. Obviously he becomes her hero. That is why a girl always wants to find a husband who is more like her father. Normally fathers are very possessive of their children especially of daughters. They keep a very close eye on them and always try to protect them from the evil. Even though many think that the role of a father as a guardian, ends when the daughter is married I don’t agree with that. Fathers are always very protective of their daughters regardless of their marital status. It is clearly depicted in this song when the father tells the groom

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl…

Every father has a dream of seeing his daughter as a beautiful bride. But when the day comes, instead of being delighted they secretly cry. It is not because they are jealous or unhappy about the groom, but because suddenly they feel a void in their hearts…a void that no one in this world can ever fill. The idea that their daughter is no longer with them makes them upset. See how beautifully this subtle feeling has been expressed in this song.

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

It is so sad that some grooms find it ridiculous when the father of their bride becomes so emotional on their wedding day. Most of the times when fathers give advice to their future son in laws these guys just don’t listen. They think that once they are married, the girl belongs only to her husband and therefore there is no need to listen or to obey to what the girl’s father has to say. Some even go to the extent of asking their wives not to pay so much attention to her parents. So in this song this father tells his son in law that the latter will only understand the sentiments of this father when he has a child of his own.

Someday you might know what I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you….

I loved her first

They say that father is a son’s first hero of and a daughter’s first love. How true… I strongly believe that no one in this entire world will love you more than your parents. Their love is unconditional and they won’t get angry even if you don’t reciprocate that love. All they want is to see you happy. They will always be there for you no matter what you have done.

I don’t know about boys but as a girl I know that most of the daughters also care a lot about their parents. I’m not trying to say that sons don’t care…they do.. but daughters are more open with their feelings and they put their parents before their own goals and dreams. And as the saying goes

“Son is a son ‘til he gets a wife…

A daughter is a daughter all her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”

This is a poem that I wrote some time back in my Sinhala blog . ආදරණීය අප්පච්චි

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