Keep Calm And…..

Hi…

From today onwards I’m going to write about certain things that I have come across in life and the things that I have learnt over time. I hope you will like it..So stay tuned with the “Keep Calm Series"  

Today I’m going to talk about life. Let me ask you a question. “Do you love your life?” I guess most of you will answer it as “yes”, without any hesitation. Let me ask you another question. “Do you like your life?” Well…some people will not come up with a straight forward “YES” for this question.

All of us have issues in our lives. We complain a lot about them. We compare our lives with other people’s lives and the worst thing is..We jump into conclusions.

We think that the others are leading perfect lives while we are living a nightmare. But the million dollar question would be, “Do we know these people well enough?”

Before comparing ourselves with our neighbor, friend, cousin etc, we need to know how much we know about what they are really going through. Just because they have a good job, a big house, a nice car, and  smile on their face, that doesn’t mean that their lives are filled with happiness.

OK.. let me take myself for example. Most of my acquaintances think that my life is a bed of roses. My bosom friends know that I have some issues, whereas I and only I know what is actually going on in my life. I too have ups and downs..after all I’m human…right :)

 

So what can I do about it? I mean what can anyone do about it?  In our dreams we can have the best life we can ever think of, but in reality, we may have to go through so many problems.

Of course you can work hard and overcome your problems and make your own path towards success. On the other hand you can just be happy with what you have got, and learn to live with the unavoidable circumstances.

What cannot be cured should be endured huh?

Over the time one thing I have learnt is that, I should never compare myself with the others. Earlier I did it a lot, but it led me nowhere. I now know comparing myself with the others, is the worst harm I can do to myself.

Once I came across the saying 

"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back."

True isn’t it? We may see a smiling friend and envy him for being so happy, but we may have no idea about the pain he hides behind that smile.

You may not have the job you wanted, you may not be happy with your house, you may have problems with your family members or you may be having health issues.

Yet you can always work hard and achieve your goals…improve your life conditions. But if you don’t succeed, and due to some unavoidable reasons, your dream life and your real life are not even remotely alike, Don’t worry. Be happy with what you have got. Look at the positives. Someone out there may be praying day and night to have a life like yours.  

This is something that life has taught me.. 

So live the life you have got. Make the most of it. Learn from the mistakes and work towards achieving your goals. Help others and do not make the mistake of comparing yourself with the others. Take time off to be with your loved ones and don’t take life too seriously….After all no one is going to live forever..

Life is tough my friends....but no need to worry. Just

Father - A daughter's first love

What prompted me to write this post is the marriage of one of my best friends. She was the only child in her family and the apple of her father’s eye. As she got married she had to leave her parents and shift to her husband’s house.

Since I know this family for a very long time, I know the bond she had with her parents. I guess it was very hard for her as well as to her parents to bear up the pain of separation.

Everyone is aware about the mother - daughter relationship.  Then what about the father - daughter relationship?  They say that fathers have a strong bond with daughters than with sons. I think it is true.  May be that is because daughters care more about their parents. (No offense boys ;) ) Here is an email I received and I guess it proves the above fact.

A couple made a deal the night of their Marriage to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason!

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door, the husband &the wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before, they didn't open the door.

After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them, the couple were looking at each other, then the bride dropped a tear & started crying she said: "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years & years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Almighty blessed him with her, & he threw a Huge Party for her in Grand style, people were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply: "She is the one who will open the door for me"

I came across this wonderful song which has now become a song that I listen at least once in two three days. It was written by Walt Aldridge and Elliott Park and sung by a music group called Heartland. When I listen to this song over and over again, it makes me so emotional. It is a wonderful song that clearly shows the sentiments of a father when his daughter gets married.

I suggest that you listen to it now :)

Here are its lyrics

Look at the two of you dancing that way

Lost in the moment and each other's face

So much in love, you're alone in this place

Like there's nobody else in the world

I was enough for her not long ago

I was her number one, she told me so

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl

Time changes everything, life must go on

And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first, I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

How could that beautiful woman with you

Be the same freckle face kid that I knew

The one that I read all those fairytales to

And tucked into bed all those nights

And I knew the first time I saw you with her

It was only a matter of time

I loved her first, I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

Someday you might know what I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

A daughter grows up looking at her father. Obviously he becomes her hero. That is why a girl always wants to find a husband who is more like her father. Normally fathers are very possessive of their children especially of daughters. They keep a very close eye on them and always try to protect them from the evil. Even though many think that the role of a father as a guardian, ends when the daughter is married I don’t agree with that. Fathers are always very protective of their daughters regardless of their marital status. It is clearly depicted in this song when the father tells the groom

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl…

Every father has a dream of seeing his daughter as a beautiful bride. But when the day comes, instead of being delighted they secretly cry. It is not because they are jealous or unhappy about the groom, but because suddenly they feel a void in their hearts…a void that no one in this world can ever fill. The idea that their daughter is no longer with them makes them upset. See how beautifully this subtle feeling has been expressed in this song.

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

It is so sad that some grooms find it ridiculous when the father of their bride becomes so emotional on their wedding day. Most of the times when fathers give advice to their future son in laws these guys just don’t listen. They think that once they are married, the girl belongs only to her husband and therefore there is no need to listen or to obey to what the girl’s father has to say. Some even go to the extent of asking their wives not to pay so much attention to her parents. So in this song this father tells his son in law that the latter will only understand the sentiments of this father when he has a child of his own.

Someday you might know what I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you….

I loved her first

They say that father is a son’s first hero of and a daughter’s first love. How true… I strongly believe that no one in this entire world will love you more than your parents. Their love is unconditional and they won’t get angry even if you don’t reciprocate that love. All they want is to see you happy. They will always be there for you no matter what you have done.

I don’t know about boys but as a girl I know that most of the daughters also care a lot about their parents. I’m not trying to say that sons don’t care…they do.. but daughters are more open with their feelings and they put their parents before their own goals and dreams. And as the saying goes

“Son is a son ‘til he gets a wife…

A daughter is a daughter all her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”

This is a poem that I wrote some time back in my Sinhala blog . ආදරණීය අප්පච්චි

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